RuthB

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Just another Day

Well, Well, I have found my way back to my blog thanks to some help from a friend. It's been such a long time (almost a year) since I last posted a message. I need to get better about it.

I originally started my blog to keep my family update on my eye situation. I'll bring everyone up to date and then move on to other things.

Last June I had a kenalog shot directly in the eye. I was scared nearly to death, but didn't feel a thing. That shot did more good than all the rest of the treatment that I'd had. It helped to reduce the swelling and my vision stabilized. It's not good and I am still considered legally blind, but at least it's not getting worse. I am now only going to the retina specialist every 3 months for monitoring.

Vocational Rehabilitation is sending a lady out to work with me on learning alternative ways to do things. She is purchasing me a bunch of low vision gadgets. We'll see how helpful they are. The talking thermometer should be a big help. I'm learning to time cooking instead of just looking at it in order to tell if it's done or not. Between timing and temperature maybe I'll become a better cook adn not burn stuff. <G> Actually I've gotten to the point where I can bake cookies without burning them. I have a round stone for baking and it is wonderful. I recomment everyone buying one. You will love it. It's well worth the expense.

That's the update on my eyes.

One amazing thing that god did for me last July was to heal me of renal failure. You don't believe me? Wel it's true. I had some bloodwork done and my creotin level was over 3. It should have been less than 1. The results of that test showed kidney failure. My doctor immediately referred me to a nephrologist. In the mean time, my pastor called me on the phone and prayed for me. I instantly felt a peace wash over my body. My energy level increased and I immediately began to feel better. I had been feeling extremely lethargic and had to stop and rest every few minutes. Praise the Lord for His blessings.

Last September Art and I went to visit my son and his family in Shreveport, LA. We spent a week with them and then went to a Hebrew seminar in Austin, TX before coming back home. We had a wonderful visit with the two granddaughters and their parents.

Two days after returning home from that trip I flew to Atlanta, GA to visit my daughter and her family for two weeks. I told her I didn't want them to plan anything special. I just wanted to visit them. I enjoyed my time there, but was glad to get home.

Getting through the Atlanta airport was a real challenge since I can't read signs. I had to ask directions a couple of times, but I was real proud of the fact that I was able to make the trip on my own.

When I returned from that trip, I went to the nephrologist (kidney specialist). He changed my meds a bit and sent me for a sleep study. The sleep study showed that I have a mild form of sleep apnea so am now using a cpap machine at night. He also referred me to the infusion lab at the local hospital for a shot to help build my blood. On my second visit to him, he told me he was very concerned about me the first time I went and was ready to put me on dialasys. God is so good, isn't He?

Now I am just working at building up my strength in preparation for my grandkids to come spend the month of June with us. I am feeling better today than I have felt all winter.

Now I'm busy planning activities for the kids to do while they are here. They will have to do a whole lot more for themselves than they normally do but that's ok. They are all old enough to do so with supervision. We're just all excited about them getting to come.

That's all for this time. I'll try to do better about blogging in the future.

Posted at 06:44 pm by RuthB
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

June eye update

Bonnie, are you any good at doing IVS? I sure did need you today if you are. They coudln't get an IV started even after poking and prodding. They even went and got the doc that is sposed to be a pro. After going fishing and finding a vein, the vein broke. He kept prodding around for another fishing hole, but couldn't catch anything. THEN as if that wasn't enough they made me DRINK that dye. They never did get to do the dye test.

Then I had an OCT test done which measures the thickness of the retina. What happens in a diabetic's eyes is that the veins ooze blood as opposed to bleeding. When a vein bleeds, it will clot. When it oozes, it doesn't clot. The ooze just continues to build up causing the swelling and thickening of the retina. I had this same OCT test done in Jan. and had a bubble like swelling on the retina. The doc (not the same one trying to do the IV) has been trying to reduce the swelling with laser surgeries and the major eye surgery I had done in Feb. Being the unique person I am, my eye is not responding to treatment appropriately. My doc gave me a choice this morning of having another laser surgery or having a steroid shot directly into the eye ball. Can y'all imagine me ASKING for a shot especially in the eye? <G> That's exactly what I'm doing. So please keep me in your prayers, especially next Thursday. There is a 1/200 chance that I will get a virus and lose all of my vision immediately,. There is also a 50/50 chance that it will improve my vision. I figure I might as well give it a try. If I don't try, I'll never know if it would have helped. I know even with the shot that all that is happening is that my vision is being prolonged. I told Art I've always been a risk taker and that there is no need to stop now. I do admit that i took a little longer to decide on this. Originally I scheduled one more laser surgery (they are painless) before doing the shot. The doc said if I changed my mine to give him a call and they can change it from laser to shot. That's what I did when I got home a couple hours after my appointment. I didn't sleep very good last night dreading the IV today. I can just imagine how next Wednesday night will be. <G>

And tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. A couple weeks ago I broke the back out of one of my teeth. It just happens to be an anchor tooth for my front lower partial. I go tomorrow for them to do whatever they do to get ready for a crown. I didn't know at the time that I scheduled the appointment that that meant them doing an impression and sending my partial off with the impression so they can get a good fit. that means I'm going to have to be WITHOUT my lower front teeth for at least a whole week. Talk about slobber time. <G> I sure do have a lot of medical type junk going on for a coward as big as me.

I'll keep y'all posted here if anything new is happening. Thanks for your prayers. If you send me an email, please make it at least 18 size font and bold. Thanks. Ruth

Posted at 02:22 pm by RuthB
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Wednesday April 13, 2005 eye update

Well, the past two days have been full and busy. Part of me could be very discouraged very easily, but another part of me realizes this is just another challenge for God to handle IF I give it to Him and let Him deal with it in His way. Yesterday I had a laser surgery. I don't have to go back to the retina specialist for 2 months. He wants to give my eye time to heal good. It takes about 6 weeks to heal completely, maybe a tad bit longer with my diabetes. This morning I had an eye appointment scheduled by Social Security. I really don't care for the doctor they sent me to, but I'll jump thru their hoops. This eye doctor told me I am legally blind. I'll accept that enough to get approved for either SSI or SSDI, but I am NOT accepting that as the final outcome. Yes I'm still praying for God's will instead of complete healing. I AM accepting that this could possibly be God's way of providing for us financially without me having to work. I will be the first to admit that it is nice not to have to get up every morning and head out to work. I have 4 more of the 6 months Social Security said to plan on for a decision. With thiis doctor this morning saying I am legally blind, it shouldn't be any big problem to get approved. I've been told by Social Security staff that it is much easier to get approved for vision problems than any other disability. It's all in God's hands. At this point the retina specialist dosn't know if I'll need more laser surgery. He had said I'll need 4 laser surgeries with the one yesterday being the first of the 4. Yesterday he said he did more with yesterday's surgery than he had planned on doing and wants to wait until my next appointment to decide if I will need more laser surgery. The laser surgery is painless even though that bright light is burning veins in my eyeball. It sounds pretty gruesome, but isn't as bad as it sounds.

Anyway, I do ask that y'all continue to keep Art and I in your prayers. We still have some major decisions to make and we still don't know God's plans for our lives, BUT we DO know who is in control. We love Him and we desire to obey Him and that's that. <G>

After my laser surgery yesterday, Art and I went to David and Nickie's for supper (at their invitation). We had a good time and of course I thoroughly enjoyed playing with Baby David. He is such a cutie. Daddy David said he weighs 18 1/2 lbs. He is 6 months old. He knows his Mama and Daddy's voice very well. I had to chuckle to myself when David told me he loves spoiling the baby and loves it when the baby wants him. David and Nickie are planning on being married on June 11 in Las Vegas, NV and Art and I are planning on going. I think they might let us bring Baby David back with us in order to give themselves some time alone. I am glad Nickie feels comfortable enough with me to trust her baby with me.

I'll continue to keep y'all informed of my eye situation and our future plans.

Posted at 02:52 pm by RuthB
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Monday, March 21, 2005

Monday, March 21, 2005 eye update

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog so I thought I'd better do so. I should be in bed and getting some beauty sleep, but I guess that nap I took earlier today jinxed that idea for little while.

I had an eye appointment today and while I'm seeing a bit better than last appointment (about 1 1/2 weeks ago), progress is still extremely slow. I had a dye test this morning which I literally hate. They have to do an IV to inject the dye and IVs are hard to do on me. IF they can find a large enough vein, there's no guarantee that it will co-operate. Many times it either rolls or breaks. That means another stick. They got a doctor to do it today. They said he's the best they have. He did it with the first try, but it sure wasn't fun. I've always been a BIG coward when it comes to needles. Anyone of my brothers and sisters can verify that. <G>

The doctor told me that he didn't do all he planned to do when he did the eye surgery on Feb. 5th. He said he kept remembering that I could only see out of one eye and he didn't want to mess that one eye up. After viewing the results of the dye test, he told me today that I will need 4 more laser surgeries scheduled over the next several months. The first one is scheduled for April 12th and the others will probably be about 2 weeks apart after that, depending on his schedule. He said there is still a lot of macula swelling. I am not really thrilled about so many surgeries, but they aren't half bad after having the major eye surgery I did on Feb. 5th. It's all still in God's hands.

I applied for SSDI last week and got the impression that when it comes to vision problems, it's pretty cut and dried to get approved. It will still take about 5 or 6 months, but much easier than other disabilities. The lady who took my application said I might not even have to go for an exam from their doctors. She said with eye problems they often take the documentation from the client's doctor. Either way is fine with me; especially if they pay for the extra exams. <G>

I have to admit I don't mind not getting up early every morning and going to work. I am usually up by 8:00 or 8:30 anyway. It's just a lot different when you don't have to get up, get dressed, and leave for the day. Art and I seem to do a lot of running around as it is.

Changing the subject-I wanted to show y'all a picture of my youngest grandson. I posted one of the two of us when he was about 3 months old. He's now 5 1/2 months old and growing like a little weed. He has changed a lot in the past couple of months. In MY opinion, he is a little cutie. <VBG> He is named after his daddy, David Erron McAlpin. They all came to see us last Saturday and we had a great visit. Anyway, here's the picture.
it.

Posted at 11:14 pm by RuthB
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Friday, February 11, 2005

Thursday's eye appointment

Yesterday I had an eye appoitment so I thought I'd better update y'all. It sure would be easy to get discouraged if I focused on the negative stuff, but I'm not discouraged. I'm VERY encouraged in that the Lord is going to do something really wonderful and get a lot of glory. The doctor said I am healing just fine after the surgery which is always a major concern for diabetics. BUT -- don't you hate thte buts??? <G> Anyway, he syas there is still a lot of damage that he will have to take care of. He plans to do more laser surgery. That wasn't anything new, he told me that lst time I was there. He says I can't go back to work yet, that he wants to see me in two weeks. He said the laser surgery needs to be done as soon as possible, but he wants to let the eye heal a little more. I was sure glad to hear him say that because my eyeball is VERY sore and I sure didn't want anyone messing with it, deadening drops or not. <G> I didn't even ask him how much sight he thinks I will have. I know he can't really predict that, but I sure would like to know . Today I can see a bit more than I did yesterday so I'm hoping and praying that it will come back fast. Right now my vision is so unstable it's hard to know what it will be from day to day. Actually fro m monring to eveing. It will start out improved in the morning and then by afternoon it seems to get worse. I think thats the swelling in the eye. The swelling is the main problem. When there's a lot of sweeling I can't see very good. When the sweelling isn't so bad, it looks like my vision is improving. Guess I need to learn patience. <G>

After visiting the doctor, we stopped for a little lunch and then went to my office to talk to my boss and let h er know that I wouldn't be back to work when I thought I would. She was so good abotu it all. She kept saying don't worry about anything here. Just do what you need to to get well. I was looking forwrad to doing a bunch of puppet shows for the head start kids, but that's not going to happen since the coc isn't releasing me to go back to work. Guess I'll just keep getting spoiled and enjoying sleeping in in the mornings.

By the time we got hoome yesterday, I was really feeling terrible. Seems I run out steam so quickly. My eyeball was hurtting really badly, my stomach was kind of queasy, and my head wsa screaming at me. I went took a couple of pain pills and went to bed immediately. The pain meds make me sleep. When the phone rang about an hour later, I wasa feeling much better, but still kinda weak. You can't imagine how nauseating it is to ride in the car and be able to see and feel motion. It really does a number on my tummy.

Art needs to make a trip into Canon City and I'm going to stay home and relax. <G> Tough life isn't it?

I don't really have a lot to update from yesterday because we are just playing a waiting game. I will contineue to keep everyone posted. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Art is being such a jewel. He seems to know when to do for me and when to let me do for myself. That's a real knack in and of itself. I'm trying to be patient and wait until he is ready to get me a drink or put in my drops or do whatever needs doing. I'm trying to be a good patient. He says I'm doing just fine. Depending on someone else sure does raise your trust level in that other person. <G>

More Later.
God Bless Everyone.
Ruth

Posted at 08:59 am by RuthB
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Saturday, February 05, 2005

After Eye Surgery

Well I am home from the hospital. What an ordeal! I am typiong this update myself so just reado over and excuse the typos. I can thnk Mr. Hinch , fomy thighschool typing teacher, for being strict about learing to type without any letters on the keyboard. I'm not sure I would get a passing grade on this text, but that's ok. You all should be able to read it.

I thought the pre op was bad enough, but when I went for the surgery, And they handed me this gown and said get undressed, I knew the fun times were just beginning. At least the nurse was gracious enough to take one look at me and said, I'll go get you a different gown. She brought back one big enough for me and another small person. I didn't object one bit because it met in the back. Thank the Lord for small favors. <G> Then I get to get up on this small hard bed and wait for the nurse to come back in and inflect more pain and agony when she tried to put in an IV. I warned her that I had terrible veins and that it would be hard to get it in. Art told her my veins ran and hid when they saw a nneedle coming in theri direction,. He said he had a pocket knife and could assist if they needed hlelp. He had to leave for a few minutes and my pastor and his wife came in. Can you belive my pastor said exactly the same thing Art did about a piclket knife? Just wait unil they are the ones laying on the table. I'll remind them both of that little comment. <VBG> Anyway after that nurse poking me a couple times and digging around in there, she goes and gets Donna, another nurse , who does exactly the same thing. POKE POKE POKE. I think she poked in about 3 or 4 places and of course twisted that needled while she had it in sde. I told them I bit the doctors thumb one time when he was trying to take blood. I pormised them I wouldn't bite them, though. < G> They came to get me twice to take me back for surgery, but they didn't have the IV in. Finally, they just said send her back and let them do it. So I get to ride down the hall in style, white bed and all. The driver was a jokester. He said he lost his hite cane so he waasn't sure what kind of driver he would. I told him that was ok cuz I couldn't see either. That's why I was there for eye surgery. LOL Do you all know how cold they keep that room back there? BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. More poking. I think the first nurse must have poked me about 3 times in my right hand and arm and then moved to my left ahand and poked some more. No veins. would cooperate. Another guy came and he poked me at least 3 times. Fortunately, the 3rd time he found a vein that didn't blow or hide. The last poke is the only one I really didn't feel and I think that is because he used some andeadening something on it. Who cares what he use, he finally got it in. Theyt wereall apologing for poking me so many times. I told them, just do what you have to do and get on with it. One good thing bakck there is that they had the warmest blankets. that they took out of the warming oven and put over me. That felt sooooooooo good.

I laid there and wited for my turn on the opearting table. It didn't take to awfully long before it was my turn. Do you KNOW how narrow that table is?. It is MUCH narrower than I am, that's for sure. AND it was even colder back there. They had a blanket that blew warm air on me and I was asleep anyway so I din'dn't care. They strapped my legs down and then asked me to move up further towards the head of the table. I told them I could soot up easier if my legs weree untied. They loosed the strap and I scooted up and bumped my head on the top end of the table. The technician said, that's ok I'l stitch it up while you are asleep. OF coursse I didn't cut my head. He's just such a jokester, a cute one too. <G> The antesthesiologist nurse put an oxygen cup over my nose and told me to relax and he was sending me to a beautiful place. That's the last I know until a woman is saying Katheryn (I go by my middle name, Ruth) Katheryn, wake up. It felst like there were a dozen knives in my left eye. Talk about have an enormous black eye. That's what it felt like. I don't have a black eye, but it sure is a sore eye. They took me back to where to where Art was awaiting . Pretty soon they made me get up and sti in a chair. All I wanted to do was sleep.
Just imagine not being able to see and still being expected to move around and get from point A to point B. I'm srue I will get much better about it during the next two weeks. Anyway, they got a wheelchair and took me to the door. That was after they took out the IV. I felt like they were running down the hall with me in that wheel chair. Art said they didn't and he was right behind the nurse pushing me. I got in the car and we went to the hospital guest house where they let us rent this teeny tiny room for $20 a night. Talk about uncomfortable beds. The room was just big enough for two twin beds, and a small nightstand. The bathroom had a shower a tiny sink, nand of course the stool. I told Art it's a good thing it was small because I could feel my way around and do what I had to do. My bed was in the corner directly opposite the bathroom door. Between the door and my bed was a heater that I could feel my way along to reacah my bed. It only took about a dozen steps to gert to my bed. OH I didn't tell you about my trip from the car to the room. Talk about aan experience! LOL If anyone saw Art and I I'm sure they would have thought I was drunk. I guess I actually was, too. Drunk on pain meds. LOL I don't know who invented thse dmeds, but I sure am thankful for them right now. LOL I waas weaving around and would have fallen if Art hadn't had a firm grip on me. He was so good to let me know all about the rough terrain and when to step up and etc. He got me settled and drifting off to sleep and then had to go home and take care of the dogs. Remember it is about an hour one way to our house. I would have gone directly home last night, but I had that eye appointment this morning at 10 with the eye doctor and dind't want to deal with the ice and snow at our housre. Art got back in record time and then had to repeat the trip again this morning. Poor guy, I know he was tired of all the running around. He brought my cane that I used a couple years ago when I had my knee surgery and that helped a lot. He parked in a place where there was a handicapped ramp so I didn't have to deal with the 7 steps that I did the night before. I don't know which is worse a ramp that akes you feel like you are going to pitch forward any minute or steps that you are afraid that you are going to fall down. Again I"m so thankful for Art. He is a wise man. He knows when to let me do for myself and when to assist. If I had known the layout of that room it would have been easier.

We went to the eye doctor and they took the big bandage off and put a clear plastic shield over my left eye. I have to wear it ALL the time, even in the shower. The doc said I culd do whatever I feel like. I don't go bafck until Thursday to see him. The scariest thing that I had to do was when I had to go to the ladies room at the eye doctor. Art took me to the door, but I awas on my own after that. Fortunately I had been in there before and could remember the general layout of the room. I manged to do my business, wash and dry my hands and make it out to the hallway where Art was waiting for me.
Aunt Bonnie, Art reminds me of Uncle Roger so much. I feel so blessed to have him. Everyone thought I had lost what few marbles I had when I met this guy on the internet and married him. I must admit that I was somewhat concerned for a little bit, but we both fetl God was leding us. I don't know WHAT I would do right now wiothout him. He's such a jewel.

I hope you all can read this inspite of all the typos. It's much easier for me to type this myself than to tell Art what to type. I told him if our marriage survives the next couple of weeks, we can say we have a model marriage. <VBG> I know I sure don't intend to do ANYTHING to destroy or damage what I have. That's all for now. Will update more later. Feel free to email me and Art will read me the emails. Thank you all for all your prayers. Don't stop. I still need them. The doctor said the surgery didn't go exactly like he had hoped and I still need more laer surgery soon. I don't think he's planning on doing any of that until my eye heals from this surgery. At least I HOPE not. I may still have to have that shot in th eey. Right now I'm just trusting the Lord to meet our needs a. Whatever happens It's all in His hands.

Posted at 05:45 pm by RuthB
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Friday, February 04, 2005

THE DAY

Good Morning, Everyone, I meant to write in last night but was just to tired. I decided I'd do it this morning before leaving so here I am.

Now I know what pre-op means. It's most nearly bad as having the surgery. <G> I was telling Nadeen the two things I dread the most are getting naked and needles and of course we know the needles are naked. LOL

Anyway, the pre-op at the eye doctors wasn't so bad. They gave me a little kit with sunglasses, eye drops, a plastic shield, and some tape to hold the shield on. They also gave me a general idea what to expect after the surgery. Two weeks of not seeing, then about 2 1/2 weeks vision should start slowly returning. By the middle of the second week I should be able to tell that it is coming back. Once it starts coming back it will return pretty quickly.
The pre-op at the hospital was a bit more trying, not unbearable, but endurable. Most of you know how I feel about needles, I HATE THEM. Some of you may even remember a few fits I've thrown when someone was attempting to poke me with a needle. <VBG> Well, I have improved with age. I am able to sit there and watch them poke me with that hateful thing. Unfortunately my veins don't cooperate. It seems I'm being repaid for all those fits I threw and even the time I bit the doctor's thumb. Anyway, the nurse yesterday was very good at finding a vein and drawing out 3 vials of blood. I asked her how much she was going to take. I was beginning to wonder if I'd have any left. <G> Then she asks me if I've ever had an EKG. I hadn't before yesterday, but I have now. <G> That wasn't to bad. Just a bunch of electrodes stuck all over my body. I asked her if she found a heart and she said she did so I guess I passed. Then we were passed on to another nurse who asked the same questions the first nurse had asked and gave us a bit more information, had me sign more papers, and then passed me on to the anesthesiologist (I can't spell that any better than I can pronounce it.) They ask me all these questions about health problems and what I have or don't have. They get to diabetes and of course I say yes. Then they ask if I've ever had any vision problems. I guess I kinda looked at that nurse strangely and said that's why I'm here. I haven't been to worried about all this until they started asking me questions like that. I wonder just what I'm getting into if they don't know what kind of surgery I'm having. <G>

I sure was tired by the time I had been poked, prodded, and drained of 3 vials of blood. Ok so they weren't all that big. <G> I didn't think I'd sleep much last night, but I did. Now I am getting ready to pack a bag and will be leaving in a little while. I am still feeling at peace about all of this. I know God has His hand over me and is taking care of me. I feel sorry for Art having to wait for several hours not knowing how things are going. He has been such a blessing through all of this, never complaining always trying to make things easier for me.
The hospital has a room where we can stay tonight since I have a 10:00 appointment at the eye doctor in the morning. That way I won't have to deal with all the snow and ice in our driveway and on our steps. It's bad enough when you can see where you are going. We will be back home by tomorrow afternoon and I will have Art post an update here. Thank you all for all your prayers for us.

Posted at 07:31 am by RuthB
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Friday, January 21, 2005

Praise the Lord

I just have to share something with y'all here. If I've already shared with you, just bear with me. I'm excited.

As you all know I will be having major eye surgery on Feb. 4. The surgery will cost about $10,000 all total. Of course we don't have that kind of money so we applied to the Knights Templar Eye Foundation for assistance. We met with the representative last night and it looks like we will be approved for them to pay 100% of that. I am so thrilled. That takes a big load off my mind.

I'm at work so I will have to stop rambling for now.
Later.

Posted at 02:03 pm by RuthB
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Update on eye appointment

Time for an eye update. I had an eye appointment this morning and, of course, was hoping to have a good report. I knew my eyesight fluctuated a lot in a very short time and my night vision is nothing spectacular at all, but I was hoping things were not worse. As you've probably already guessed by now, I did not get a good report from the eye doctor. In fact, his first words after looking at my file was "This is not good."

First off this morning I had a dye test. It has another official name, but I can't spell it so I won't even try. <G> They do an IV and inject yellow dye. The dye immediately goes to they veins in the eye and they take a bunch of pictures. The pictures and the dye allow them to see where the extra, fragile veins are and which ones are bleeding. The bleeding is what causes the floaters in my eye. I was thinking that part was better. I dilated my eye on the way in to the appointment so I would be ready for the test and the wait time was less in the office. Seems like we spent a LOT of time waiting this morning. My appointment was for 8:45 and we left the Eye Center about noon.

After the dye test, they did an OCT test. This is where they are able to look at the 9 levels of the retina to determine damage. I told the technician doing that test that I liked the light show. It was pretty neat. Reminded me of fireworks on July the 4th.

After the OCT test, we went back to the waiting area and waited some more. Finally the doctor came in. He said the next step is surgery. I asked him if the surgery would repair my eye and I'd be able to see better. He said all he is trying to do is prolong the sight I have right now. I told him I really struggle to read and his reply was, "I don't doubt that." He rattled off the official names of what he plans to do in the surgery (I have them written down). He plans 3 major things.
1) Drain all the fluid out of my eye and sterelize it
2) more laser surgery to get rid of fragile veins
3) steroid shot

He left the decision whether or not to have the surgery up to me and of course I said "Let's do it. I want to keep my vision as long as I can even if its no better than what it is right now."

I then went to talk to the diagnostician who is the one who schedules the surgery at the local hospital. The surgery is scheduled for Feb 4 at 11:30 a.m. I have to go to the Eye Center on Feb 3 for a pre-op and then to the hospital for a pre-op. For a person who hates needles like I do, I sure am getting poked a LOT. I warned the nurse this morning before she even attempted to do the IV that I have terrible veins. Everyone says they are small and break if and when they do find one. True to form she had to poke me several times before she could find a vein that didn't break. For all of you who remember how I used to scream and holler and even bit the doctor's thumb once, you would have been proud of me for calmly sitting there relaxed and letting her poke me several times. Just goes to show miracles really do happen. <G>

I ask that y'all keep me in your prayers. I admit that even though I might sound pretty calm about all this, I have a lot of concerns. One of my big concerns is the loss of my income and how that will affect our financial situation. I know God has taken care of me in the past and He certainly won't abandon me now. I try not to worry about stuff and most of the time I don't. However this is a bit more serious than some stuff I've faced in the past.

Art and I have already been checking into various resources for the blind in this area. I will be applying for SS after I have this surgery. The doctor suggested waiting until after the surgery before making a decision to quit working. It is already a struggle to read the computer and complete the different forms necessary in working with my clients. Thank goodness for magnifying glasses. I always have one on hand.

I thank the Lord for Art, too. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't here to help. I have not been driving since just before Thanksgiving. That means Art gets up every morning about 6:00 and takes me into work, then comes back and gets me at 4:00 p.m. That's about 40 miles each way. Sometimes he will take his laptop in and stay in the office all day. I know that is so boring for him, but he never complains. He also does a lot fo stuff around the house. You don't realize just how much you depend on your vision until something happens. He also is learning to read labels for me. He even took me to Hobby Lobby today to spend a gift certificate that i received for my birthday. He never said one complaining word even tho I walked all over the store more than once trying to find something. He patiently read price tags for me. He never made any negative comment about the stuff I looked at even though I KNOW he thought some of the stuff was pretty wierd.

I have never regretted marrying him even though I know a lot of people thought I'd gone over the edge by marrying someone I met on the internet. I believe meeting Art was one way God was taking care of me. What in the world would I have done if I was all alone? Giving up driving and some independence has been hard on me. You won't find me admitting that very often either. I know I've been (still am) pretty stubborn and independent. Those qualities have helped me to survive lots of things.

If anyone has some software that will read messages to you just lying around that you aren't using, feel free to send it to me. <G> I can make good use of it. We have also been looking into low visual aides, but they are so expensive. I don't know what we will do about them.

I've rambled enough so will close this. Again I ask that you all keep Art and I in your prayers. Thanks, Ruth

Posted at 11:21 pm by RuthB
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Thursday, December 23, 2004

Thursday Posting

Today is very cold and I'm home from work again. It is still snowing a very fine snowflake that doesn't accumulate. I think my blog may be messed up so this is a test post.

I also want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

Posted at 11:49 am by RuthB
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